This blog was gonna be about quality, but with the quantity this low I just have to write.
Little Death played first. They were very average and I did not know why they were there. Their bass player was not amazingly competent. I suppose my review of this pile of shite could be longer, but if it was I’d probably end up slagging them off. I could pay them a complement, on the assumption that saying you want to fuck the only female member of the band is a complement. This could come across as sexist shit, but to be honest it is the fact that she is clearly in the band because either (1) she is fucking one of the band or (2) one of the band wants to fuck her or (3) the band think that having a girl who half the audience will want to fuck will make them more popular. Any of these options is a worse reflection on this steaming pile than it is on me. The flipside to all this is that at least she was clearly there because someone persuaded her to get on stage with a cheap bass and follow the guitar lines – the rest of them were actually more directly responsible for the sonic drivel so should actually take the vast majority of the blame and abuse.
Twin Atlantic (or TWAT as they are known to their fans) have a Scottish singer who sounds like Brian Molko. They have a bass player who looks like he’s in the world’s worst band ever. No, not Radiohead, Fleet Fucking Foxes. [To be fair to them at least they came up with a name that allowed ‘fucking’ in the middle whilst keeping perfect alliteration.] TWAT were quite good as it goes, in a ‘great band to listen to when you are 19 and going through your dullard indie phase in advance to turning 22 and reverting to listening to mainstream dog turd like Radiohead and Fleet Foxes and U2’, kinda way. Cello is cool, I’ll grant ya. Electric cello, replacing a perfectly good distorted guitar, is not. Jerkier than Little Death, and I thank them for that. Amish beards are cool, not American folkie beards.
Fuck you TWAT. If I wanted 5/10 I’d go and listen to the fucking Cribs not you.
On to the Joy Formidable. Yeah, why not? Their myspace page gives the impression that their raison d’etre is to stop Little Death sounding bland. Live they are almost a revelation. I like the drummer’s spot at the side looking across to the other two. I like their energy. I like their singing guitarist’s vitality, energy, attitude and guitar abusing. But, sorry Joy, I want more. You might make it. You’ve got your fans, you rock, you’re engaging and you care. But why should I care? To be fair there is one reason. Girls fronting decent noisy rock bands are a rarity, and for that you deserve high praise indeed. But you ain’t getting it from me. 6. 1 better than TWAT and about 4.5 better than Little Death. Yeah, when 20 bands on myspace have Little Death in their name, did you not think “an original thought, that is what we need!”. Clearly not. Numb nuts.
Tonight featured far too many Strats. Ditch your fucking Strats. There is only one thing worse than a cheap guitar, and that’s a Strat. Fuck Strats.