Archive for January, 2010

Krush – House Arrest

January 26, 2010

80’s house classic –

Krush featured Mark Brydon – better known for Moloko – Robert Gordon – co-founder of Warp Records – and one of the best dance vocals of the 80s from Ruth Joy.  One day I will start making old-skool house tracks and I want her on vocals, no doubt at all.


London Gig Guide # 4

January 25, 2010

I must try to do this gig guide more often, maybe every 2 weeks.  Please let me know if your band is any good and playing.  London and immediate surrounds.

Monday 25th January
These New Puritans at Bush Hall, London W12
Vivian Girls, Trinity Centre, London E8

Wednesday 27th January
Archie Bronson Outfit, The Lexington, London N1
Basia Bulat, Underbelly, London N1
Rolo Tomassi, The Barfly, Camden, London NW1

Friday 29th January
Fabulous Penetrators at Notting Hill Arts Club, London

Sunday 31st January
Cowbell at Come Down And Meet The Folks, The Stags Head, London
Internet Forever at Zonino, Brixton Windmill, London
Toehammer at The Flower Pot, London

Monday 1st February
Smoke Fairies at Lexington, London

Tuesday 2nd February
Japanese Voyeurs at Barfly, London

Thursday 4th February
The Coal Porters at Golden Lion Pub, London

Tuesday 9th February
Internet Forever at Dingwalls

Thursday 11th February
Cowbell at The Birdsnest, London

Friday 12th February
The Telescopes at Colchester Arts Centre, essex

Saturday 13th February
Fighting Cocks at Inn On The Green, 3-5 Thorpe Close, London
William / Not Cool at Tough Love/Vilest Thug Loop secret gig

Riding With Private Malone

January 22, 2010

Well, here’s a little video from a few years back.  Amazing song.

Riding With Private Malone

I don’t like David Ball, I don’t like the Amercian obsession with environmentally unfriendly cars, I don’t like mawkish sentimentality, I don’t like war, I don’t like bland, patriotic American country.  In fact I don’t like much do I?  But what I do like, I love passionately.

First person to explain why I have tagged this post with ‘Chris Lowe’ gets an amazing, priceless, valueless, prize – they get to choose a topic for a post on this blog.

Guns N’ Roses ‘Greatest Hits’

January 21, 2010
In the latest in a long line of cutting-edge analyses of all the new releases in the world of ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll’, as the kids like to call it, I give you, Guns N’ Roses ‘Greatest Hits’.

1. “Welcome to the Jungle
Meaningless drivel for lyrics do not spoil the sound of a young rock band approaching the peak of their powers.  7/10.

2. “Sweet Child o’ Mine
Killer riff, up there with the all time greats.  We all like a ballad every so often, but let’s be honest, ballads are part of the problem, not part of the solution.  8/10.

3. “Patience
Jesus, these bad boys of rock descend to the worst type of balladric nonsense pretty quick into a greatest hits compilation don’t they?  Little known fact, this is the longest song GNR ever recorded, clocking in at 4 hours, 5 minutes and 46 seconds.  I lied, it just feels that long.  At 5 minutes 56 seconds this song has a boredom ratio of 04.05.46 / 00.05.56 = 41.42.  41.42 is the highest boredom ratio of any song ever.  Patience indeed… mine’s fading fast.  I’m feeling generous though.  1/10.

4. “Paradise City
Meaningless drivel for lyrics do not spoil the sound of a young rock band reaching the peak of their powers.  Taking a rock/pop song and dragging it out for nearly 7 minutes almost does though.  8.5/10.

5. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think Dylan is a bloke to cover.  Many of the elements that go into a Dylan record are terrible, and it is only the unusual genius of the man that brings thems all together in a way that is far more than the sum of their parts.  Too long.  Horrid pronounciation of daw-aw-waw by Axl.  Bland, mid-80s keys.  I could go on, like the song does, but I won’t.  1.5/10

6. “Civil War
Fair play, you can’t have too many anti-war songs, but let’s be honest, they could have cut it down somewhat from an excrucating 7:42.  3.5/10.

7. “You Could Be Mine
The only good thing that you can say about this song is ‘at least it isn’t another fucking ballad.’  Scratc that you could also say ‘at least it is sub-6 minutes, not over’.  2/10.

8. “Don’t Cry
Is this song the most pointless dirge ever written?  Go To 10.  0.5/10.

9. “November Rain
Shit, at 8 I should have said go to 9.  Absolutely abysmal.  This is arguably the worst song on the album by sole virtue of the fact that it is the longest song on the album, but in reality there is so much else about this track to detest.  0.00025/10.

10. “Live and Let Die
No.  This is.  GNR did manage to make it even shitter than the original though.  Actually, I haven’t got a clue whether that is true or not and I refuse to waste even 3 seconds of my life having a quick listen to fucking Wings on Spotify to check.  0.001/10.

11. “Yesterdays
Axl.  Shut Up.  0.3/10.

12. “Ain’t It Fun
Now this is a great song.  I have a version played by Peter Laughner (one of the writers) in the late 70s and it truly is wonderful.  “Ain’t it fun when you now you’re gonna die young” sung by the writer who died a year or two later is pretty damn poignant.  It is almost a good enough song that even Axl can’t ruin it, but, unfortunately, not quite.  And the wild man of rock hasn’t even got the bottle to sing all the words.  It’s only ‘cunt’ for fucks sake Axl, sing it you pussy.  4/10.

13. “Since I Don’t Have You
Boring.  Next.  1/10.

14. “Sympathy for the Devil
Now this is another great song, yet again played reasonably but does it add something new, or is it just a poor quality photocopy, cheap paper, low on toner, damage to the scanner leaves parallel stripes down the page?  4/10.

Overall – 2.93/10.  This album does have it’s qualities, but don’t press play on the CD player unless you have a fully operational skip button and are prepared to use it.