Buffalo Club – Sat May 28th 2016 – Star Inn Guildford

Grits, Burning House, Warren Schoenbright, The Sleepwalker

Ballsiest Band of the Night Award

Warren Schoenbright.  Easy.  How the fuck can a band have the balls to have a drummer keep it so simple, like this little skin-flicker did for much of their set?  I’ll tell you how!  No fucking idea.  He might as well have not been on stage for huge chunks of the set given how simple he kept it.

Band Name of the Night Award

Not awarded.  Not that any of the band names are bad, per se, but I’m not sure any are that good.  Or maybe the bands had them the wrong way round?  Grits should swap with Burning House, then Grits (the new one, not the old one) with The Sleepwalker, leaving Grits (the third one) to swap with Warren Schoenbright.  That would definitely make more sense.

Band of the Night Most Likely to Get Nicked for Encouraging Drug Taking Even Though You Can’t Really Get Nicked For Encouraging Drug Taking Unless You’re a Dealer and then You Get Nicked For Dealing Not Encouraging Award

The Sleepwalker.  Note – I know the award title implies that I know that they’re not dealers, the truth is they could be Howard Fucking Marks and his big-time elder bro’ for all that I know.  Please, if either of the members of The Sleepwalker – da one wiv the laptop an da beatz or the one wot guitared – are dealers who supply you, then please do not let this award put you off visiting them again – just make sure you wears a disguise to get your supplies.  Its for your good and theirs.

Best Band of the Night Award

Grits.  Easy.

Best Live Band of the Night Award (judged in comparison to their online output, not in absolute terms)

Warren Schoenbright.  Much better live than some of their stuff online might suggest, some of the suff online being far too abstract for my taste.  Coincidentally one of my favourite ever bands are also far too abstract for my taste to the point where some of their stuff I don’t much like at all.

Comedy Moment of the Night Award

Burning House’s drummer drops stick.  Shit happens.  Burning House’s singer/guitarist reacts as though shit DOES NOT HAPPEN, OR AT LEAST NOT IN MY FUCKING BAND.  Chill Winston.  Or something.

Drummer of the Night Award

Warren Schoenbright.  Easy.  How the fuck can a band have the balls to have a drummer keep it so simple, like this little skin-flicker did for much of their set, and come across like such a fucking amazing amazing drummer?  The last band I saw with a drummer this good were Toehammer.  I am serious.  Toehammer are / were (anyone know?) a three piece where you just kinda wonder what the guitarist and bassist are thinking?  Do / did they realise that they’re there simply because people want to watch the drummer, but watching a drummer on stage by themselves is boring, so it kinda helps if the rest of a band are on stage too even if they’re irrelevant to the level of pleasure the audience gets?

Guildford’s New Best Band Award (hotly contested because, as we all know, more great bands come out of Guildford than anywhere in the UK apart from London, Rugby and Burton-On-Trent)

Grits.  They were the only Guildford band on the bill to my knowledge, but this is not an “on the Night Award” so fair play to this little trio for pulling it off.

Highest Feedback to Traditional Guitar Playing Ratio of the Night Award

The Sleepwalker.

Most Appropriate Other Band T-Shirt on a Member of a Band on the Night Award

My Bloody Valentine Feed Me With Your Kiss on Burning Star’s singer/guitarist.  Burning House’s bass player gets an honourable runners-up silver medal for Dinosaur Jr.  Third for Warren Schoenbright’s drummer for his “I am a fucking class drummer” T-Shirt or did I make that up?

Most Correct Feedback to Traditional Guitar Playing Ratio of the Night Award

The Sleepwalker.

Most Strangest Band of the Night Award

Warren Schoenbright.

Most Used Tremolo Arm of the Night Award

Burning House.

Musician of the Night Award

Warren Schoenbright’s drummer.

Post-rock Rock Band of the Night Award

Grits.  They are the world’s first post-rock rock band.  Or am I talking shit?  Probably.  Whatever the fuck they are they take a shit-load of interesting influences, then turn them on their head and just get on with being a fucking great (hard) rock band.  So probably not post-rock at all.

Soundtrack/scape Band of the Night Award

The Sleepwalker.  They would have got the Only Soundtrack/scape Band of the Night Award if there was one, but there wasn’t cos that would be silly.  They were also the only band to soundtrack a (slowed down) film as they played, but that did not effect the judges’ decision.

The Wild Eye Music “My Kinda Thing” Band of the Night Award

Burning House for being “My Kinda Thing” and doing it damn well.

The Free CD of My Choice that you Probably Have and Probably Don’t Really Want Award of the Night (collection / meet only, no postage)

To the first person to comment on this blog with the name of the three bands referenced in one way or another (but not named) in this review.  Bonus CD if you can name the band referenced twice.

 

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