10 Music-Related Things I Fucking Hate

Foals, and every band who has allowed their music to be poisoned by their malignant, cultural-appropriation bullshit.

Auto-tuned vocals.

Music writers who give marks out of ten or stars or some-such other shit.

Music writers who lick arse all the time.

Foals.

Radiohead, apart from their good songs.  I’m pretty sure they have some good songs but I don’t really know because I have spent over 20 years doing my best to avoid everything that they have done since the mighty “Creep”.  Its never a good sign when a band hits their peak trying to rip off Nirvana.  See also: Blur.

Blur, I fucking hate Blur.

Music writers who claim to be independent whilst favourably reviewing bands they work for.

Music writers who think objectivity, professionalism and fairness are things that they should pay attention to.

Music writers who use the word authentic without having considered what it means.

Music writers who do lists.

The proliferation of boring singer-songwriters who are pretty damn good if you waste your time and consider them objectively, but who are fucking shit and pointless given how many of the pointless conservative shit fuckers there are.  You can sing?  Great!  You can play guitar? Great!  You can write a nice enough little ditty?  Superb!  Now fuck off and either DIE or try doing something interesting.

Hypocrites.

People who can’t count.

99.9999% of punk bands, especially the math-y, emo-y ones who have a nasty modern sound.  Not nice nasty but nasty boring nasty.

Retro bands.

Bands that fail to take the best bits from the past.

“For fans of…”  Now this is a biggie.  Its bollocks.  Spacemen 3, Black Flag and Bad Brains are my best examples.  “For fans of Spacemen 3” actually means “this band rip off Spacemen 3, and given that every single band who have ripped off Spacemen 3 are fucking shit then this band are fucking shit, and in actual fact the only chance of you liking them is if you have never heard Spacemen 3, in which case you might love the idea and not realise this mob are vastly inferior”.  “For fans of Black Flag and Bad Brains” actually means “this band is a hardore band and by definition they are pretty shit, because although I love hardcore no hardcore band other than Black Flag and Bad Brains are really worth listening to.”

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